Why is it so challenging to just let go?

I find it funny, but not surprising that it's easier to see where someone else is doing something that's not useful than to see it in my own life.  One of the problems I have is I focus on the potential in people rather than what is right in front of my eyes.  I have a tendency to ignore the obvious.

Now that may be considered by some as a great way to look at others and I think it does have it's uses.  It's more useful for me to focus on the ability that the kids DO have at Saturday school rather than listening to their beliefs that they are 'no good' at math's. When I hold them in a 'higher' position than they hold themselves they tend to excel.  I've found that people tend to meet whatever expectation you hold for them, whether positive or negative.

So, where this gets me in trouble is I like to think people can consistently operate from a place of love rather than a place of fear and wanting to get their needs met.  This is crazy as I can't do this consistently and I only know of one person who has this ability.  If I could stop making everything all about me (taking things personally) it would be much easier to let everyone else do whatever they want to do and it wouldn't affect me in such a harsh way.

Of course most people, when getting their needs met elsewhere, will no longer need someone else that was previously in their life.  No matter how much they might want to think you can stay 'friends' if that wasn't the relationship in the beginning they're trying to go back to something that doesn't exist.

I know I have had difficulty in letting go in that past, which will surprise those that know me well who have told me in the past they think I ruthlessly cut people out of my life when they have 'served their purpose'  but really what is a relationship for?
When all you have is shared memories but no longer anything in common, no shared interests, your values don't match or you're just at different stages in life (they're career focused and you're starting a family or getting married) why hold onto something that isn't there anymore?  

I'm not saying that I want to cut off everyone in my past that i no longer have the same connection with but when that connection changes it helps me to acknowledge that change.  Trying to pretend that things are the same as they always were and can stay that way without causing problems only causes unnecessary pain and heartache.
We might still communicate occasionally but if there isn't a space for me in your life and no space for you in mine why should we both hurt ourselves by holding on?  

Letting go isn't forgetting or saying that things didn't mean anything it's just an acknowledgement that things are different now, things have changed and we're growing in different directions.  Not better or worse, just different.


Letting go allows me to be open to something new coming into my life.  Maybe something wonderful and magical that I just didn't have the space for before...