Advanced Empathy- experiencing someone else's pain on their behalf???

What I realised during the past week whilst attending the 'Coaching Happiness' course with Dr. Robert Holden is that the majority of the participants do not experience themselves as loved unconditionally or experience their value and worth in the world as a given.  It amazed me that so many people professionals that are out there assisting others (and doing a fab job a lot of the time) do not have those two basic assumption, understandings/experiences.

It really helped me to recognise the major impact that 'What One Person Can Do' has had, and continues to have, on me and my life.  I have an underlying sense of well being that is not easily disturbed.  I do not need anything from anyone.  I can listen to people's judgements about me and remain unaffected.

I broke my toe and it had no effect on my well being.  It affected my ability to walk considerably but it did not affect my mood.  I did not become a victim, complain or allow my well being to be shaken.

I got home Friday night, went off to casualty, waited patiently, read my book, talked to other people there and remained truly content.  Not a false positive front, not fake but authentically happy.

I did not recognise how astounding this behaviour really was until I spoke to other people.  During Thursday and Friday when people asked what I had happened to my foot I told the story:

"You know how it's fun to slide down banisters? Well sometimes when you land your foot goes forwards and your little toe goes sideways..."

with a smile on my face.  Not as a front or to make it into a joke, but because it genuinely amused me.

People seemed to think I was some kind of freak of nature as I wasn't crying, complaining, whining or being a victim.  They were surprised at how calm and cheerful I remained.  My thought to myself was 'Well, why wouldn't I be?'  I was confused and curious.  I started to assess what was going on in my head and what I realised was all I had in there were events.  No judgements, no story, no poor me, no commentary and I thought 'how interesting...' I found the experience quite fascinating.


I told the story of what happened and people experienced the pain for me.  I started to think how amazingly complex the human mind is.  There I am with a broken toe, smiling and cheerful and there are people with no break, perfectly intact toes experiencing physical pain from only thinking about what had happened to my foot.

I started to think about the young children I come into contact with.  I see them bump their heads, fall over, scream, yell, cry and almost as soon as it's begun, it's over. AND forgotten!  I think the difference is they have no story.  The fact they hurt themselves a minute ago doesn't mean anything to them.  It hurt, it stopped, they moved on.  I wonder when we stop doing this and instead start telling a story? Being in a role? victim, helpless, clumsy, unfortunate etc.

The fact of the matter is I fell, I broke my toe, I got it X-rayed, it will heal.  Why would anyone allow this experience to affect their well being?

I think because they don't recognise they have a choice.

This work (What One Person Can Do) is profoundly powerful and pervasively life altering.  I notice it in the little things and am amazed at what the little things expand into.

What if everyone knew they were loved unconditionally?  What if everyone knew and experienced that every second of every day they have a choice?  A choice to smile or frown, complain or appreciate, love or fear, accept or reject, be present or go unconscious.
This work is so simple but not simplistic, simple but not easy, simple but not common sense, simple yet profound.

It excites me to think of the enormous difference it makes to a simple experience AND the far reaching consequences for the rest of my life.

I would love to do this work with every coach, counsellor, therapist, teacher, parent, person and watch the amazing transformation in every situation imaginable.


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Early Morning Fit Camp!

I'm now in the second week of early risers fit camp and completely loving it!  The idea is to do 45 minutes three times a week Mon/Wed/Fri for 4 weeks.  It's kind of like doing circuits with a personal trainer but in a group.

I did the evening camps previously which were good but limiting for me as then I was unable to see clients 2 evenings a week which was not practical.  Now that I can do my exercise before the day has even started I am free to use the rest of my time however I choose.

There's something glorious about getting up with the sun and exercising at the break of day.  Also I think my body is still asleep at that time in the morning so it gets tricked into exercise before it realises what's happening!

Aside from not being able to walk for a day after the first session last week I have felt wonderful and am steadily improving my levels of fitness.  It's also had the added benefit of giving me a solid reason to get up early and start my day while most people are asleep.

I've discovered hours of the day previously unfamiliar to me.  I now get an hour of cleaning and reading done before I start my day which has changed my outlook immensely.

The only unfortunate thing is they video us sometimes and I am now up on the website.  Small price to pay to feel fabulous though!

check it out here....

Transformational Breathing

Since I began the process of making my own life more productive I have searched  seemingly endlessly for something to help me release my blocked emotions.  There is an idea that each cell in your body has it's own memory and events from your life that aren't fully processed get stored in areas throughout your body.

Although I felt I had consciously worked through the majority of my past it feels very left brained and logical.  Unsurprising as I was 100% logic a lot of the time, completely disconnected from my emotional self!  Now that I am reconnected and realised that a lot of my physical issues (such as back pain) are psychosomatic it's great to have found a process that releases these blockages almost effortlessly.

For me Transformational breathing is exactly what I needed.  It's completely in the body, no thought process to distract, rationalise or pretend.  For a total left brainer it was ideal to get me back into what's really going on for me.

I am excited about attending a group session in the near future and would recommend TB to anyone wanting to clear out their old baggage without having to bring it all up again.

www.breathguru.com

Noggin 100 Metaphor day 5th January

To say I lacked confidence using metaphors would have been a massive understatement. It was my least favourite topic on my Master Practitioner course and I was not looking forward to spending a whole day facing my fears.
However the way the Noggin100 day was laid out made the topic of metaphor incredibly simple.

Instead of being thrown in at the deep end with no knowledge of what I was supposed to be doing (apparently you learn to do it by doing it) it was clearly explained. We spent time talking to each other and spotting metaphors in each others language and then just played around with them. We spent time creating living metaphors and came up with some interesting ideas to take away with us.
One particularly powerful experience was one of our group members was referring to a problem she had using the metaphor of a timetable. A really simple break in the metaphor occurred when we pointed out that the local buses are changing their timetables this week and do so twice a year, usually without much warning but the service still runs and everything turns out fine.
I am amazed that such a simple change in the language and imagery can have such a profound effect. I will definitely be listening more consciously for metaphors with my clients. The next topic is high performance states so a lot of new code games I think, can't wait!!

http://www.daryllscott.com/ http://www.mynoggin.co.uk/